Manic

Why is it that hour-by-hour, day-by-day, week-by-week I can't make up my mind? At one moment, I think that I could keep having kids forever...however many we can responsibly take care of and/or the Lord blesses us with. The very next, I'm wondering how I can handle feeding two kids at once, potty training Cameron in the upcoming months, etc. I'm back and forth all the time!

How can something like Elly cutting her top teeth fill me simultaneously with joy at seeing her grow up and acquire more abilities, and sorrow as she inches farther away from the mama who carried her everywhere just 5 months ago?! How can I be rolling on the floor, enjoying Cameron's hugs and kisses one second, then almost burst into tears thinking of how he'll go into kindergarten in just 4 (3?) years?

Anyone who knows me, knows I am a ball of emotion just waiting for the next opportunity to shed a tear. I'm fully invested in that part of my life. I have resolved, however, that no matter how many babes our family is blessed with -- even if it's only precious Cam and sweet Ells -- I am going to try my hardest to enjoy every moment of every day. To redeem the interruptions, curveballs, and changes, not resent them. This I learned at our Bible Study this week with Kathy Strandquist (oh, how I LOVE her!). More about this later...