If you can't beat the cold, at least make jokes about it! Okay, I know it's cold and nobody will stop talking about it...but I just love this forward. The one bright spot: it can only get warmer...
60 above zero:
>Floridians turn on the heat.
>People in Minnesota plant gardens.
50 above zero:
>Californians shiver uncontrollably.
>People in Duluth sunbathe.
40 above zero:
>Italian & English cars won't start.
>People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.
32 above zero:
>Distilled water freezes.
>The water in Bemidji gets thicker.
20 above zero:
>Floridians don coats, thermal
>underwear, gloves, wool hats.
>People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero:
>New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
>People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.
>People in Miami all die.
>Minnesotans close the windows.
10 below zero:
>Californians fly away to Mexico
>People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.
25 below zero:
>The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero:
>Washington DC runs out of hot air.
>People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero:
>Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
>Minnesotans get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.
460 below zero:
>ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
>People in Minnesota start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"
500 below zero:
>Hell freezes over.
>Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.